.jpg)
Home of the Braves
This is a comedy about a blacklisted Hollywood directortrying to film her first family TV show on an extremelysmall budget. Starring: Kimberly Coburn - as Kayla Brave. Kenneth Byrd - as Raydell Brave. Djarese Blevins - as Troy Brave. Mary Jenkins - as Davonna Brave. Amir Byrd - as Tarrin Brave. Teresa Suarez Grosso - Felicia - the Director. Anthony De La Cruz - Greco, the Cinematographer. SOUND FX & SAMPLES PROVIDED BY: * FREE SOUND.ORG * PRO MUSIC PACK.COM * LOOPERMAN.COM * GLITCHMACHINES.COM * SOUND EFFECT PACK.COM * LOOPMASTERS.COM * ZAPSPLAT.COM. MUSIC PROVIDED BY: * PROMUSICPACK.COM * LOOPERMAN.COM. Our Website is: https://www.skitz-o-phonics.com/
Home of the Braves
Crash & Burn (S1 E4)
Dad (Raydell) and his car gets hit by a celebrity, now he wants to take her to the bank.
Cast:
- Kim Coburn (Kayla Brave)
- Kenneth Byrd (Raydell Brave)
- Mary Jenkins (Davonna Brave)
- Djarese Blevins (Troy Brave)
- Amir Byrd (Tarin Brave)
- Teresa Suárez Grosso (Felicia De La Puente)
- Anthony De La Cruz (Grecko)
- Troy Garrison (Vito Tang)
- Angelica Tenorio (Tancy Benard)
This is the post roll (outro) for each episode.
Be sure to check out our website at https://www.skitz-o-phonics.com/homeofthebraves, which includes pics and credits, plus more entertaining content!
(R.I.P. Ken)
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
CAST AND CREW ARE GETTING READY TO RECORD ANOTHER EPISODE.
FELICIA
Good morning! Good morning! Good
morning everybody!
FAMILY
Good morning. Good morning Mrs. De
La Puente'. 'Morning Felicia.
FELICIA
As you know, we have a guest
appearance today, Tancy Bernard,
she will be playing the--
GRECO
She's not here yet.
FELICIA
Oh my gosh, I'm going to have an
conniption! Where is she?!
GRECO
I'm not sure. We've been
rehearsing online all week so
maybe she thinks we're recording
online too.
FELICIA
That's one of your jobs, Greco, to
make sure she doesn't think such
crazy things! Now Find her! Call
her! Something!
GRECO
I'm on it.
FELICIA
Never mind. We're going to start
without her, and if she's not here
by the time her part comes up. You
will read it.
GRECO
Me?
FELICIA
Yes you Greco. You were a child
actor in the nineties, right?
GRECO
Not a very good one, but I was a
child.
KAYLA
But Tancy's a female and I don't
think--
FELICIA
Relax, you let me worry about
that.
(to cast)
Okay, places everybody--
GRECO
Ah, before we begin, I'd like to
hand out their contracts.
FELICIA
And why didn't you hand those out
earlier, Greco?
GRECO
I forgot.
FELICIA
Well go, go! Hand them out.
Quickly.
GRECO
Here you go everybody. As
promised, Tarrin.
GRECO HANDS OUT THE FORMS TO EVERYBODY.
TARRIN
Is this a contract or a release
form?
TROY
This is hand-written.
GRECO
Yes, I know. We don't have a
lawyer, plus my laptop is in the
shop, so I drew them up myself.
GRECO (cont'd)
(unsure)
...Ah, well, it's...
KAYLA
I can barely read it.
TROY
What's this word? Bitter...?
GRECO
Binding... I think. What page is
that?
FELICIA
(sarcasm)
You know what? I have an idea. Why
don't everyone put their contracts
down, and read them tonight, after
we record this episode!
RAYDELL
Right. Good idea.
FELICIA
Alright Greco, light it up!
GRECO
Home of the Braves. "Crash &
Burn."
SFX: CLAP BOARD
FELICIA
And... action.
THEME MUSIC PLAYS
-----------------------------------------------------------
FADE IN:
INT. BRAVE'S GARAGE - DAY (DAY 1)
DAVONNA IS HELPING HER MOTHER MAKE CANDLES.
DAVONNA
So what fragrance are you making
today?
KAYLA
Same as before. Eucalyptus, honey
and Myrrh. I want to perfect this
one before I try anything else.
DAVONNA
This new house may be kind of
small, but at least this is a nice
sized garage.
KAYLA
Yeah, big enough for my candle
making and my weights. I can't
"weight" to get my business going.
Get it? Weight?
DAVONNA
Yeah I got it, Ma. And if your
candle- making doesn't take off,
you can still do security
somewhere.
KAYLA
(upset)
It's going to take off, now shut
up and hand me that soy wax.
SFX: DOOR BELL
DAVONNA
You want me to get the door first?
KAYLA
No. Give me the soy wax, then open
the door.
DAVONNA
Here ya go.
DAVONNA EXITS THE GARAGE.
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS (DAY 1)
DAVONNA HEADS FOR THE FRONT DOOR.
SFX: DOOR BELL
DAVONNA
I'm coming, I'm coming.
DAVONNA OPENS THE FRONT DOOR.
RAYDELL
(weak)
Hey cupcake.
DAVONNA
(shocked)
Daddy!
RAYDELL ENTERS IN A MOTORIZED WHEELCHAIR AND NECK BRACE.
DAVONNA (cont'd)
Mom! Come in here!
KAYLA RUSHES INTO THE LIVING ROOM FROM THE GARAGE.
KAYLA
(slight panic)
What?! What happened?--
(notices Raydell)
Raydell! What in the world
happened to you?!
RAYDELL
I was involved in a near-fatal car
accident. This wheelchair and neck
brace are the only things keeping
me alive.
KAYLA
Why didn't you call me?!
RAYDELL
I didn't want you to go into a
panic. You know how over-dramatic
you can be sometimes.
KAYLA
(slight panic)
That's ridiculous. Your eyes look
dilated. Can you move your legs?
Are you hemorrhaging anywhere?
(yells to kids)
Troy! Tarrin! Come in here!
(to Raydell)
Whoever hit you is going to pay
and pay dearly! Was it Galacia?!
RAYDELL
No, Galacia is still in love with
me, she would never physically
harm me. You maybe, but not me.
RAYDELL IS ROLLING AROUND IN HIS WHEELCHAIR CRASHING INTO
THINGS, TRYING TO GET THE HANG OF IT. TROY AND TARRIN
ENTER.
TARRIN
Dad?! What happened?
KAYLA
Your father was in a car accident.
TROY
Do you know who hit you or was it
a hit and run?
KAYLA
Somebody high on meth I bet.
RAYDELL
For your information it was a
celebrity.
KAYLA
So they were on meth.
RAYDELL
Just remember, it's not how you
get injured, it's who injures you.
Now I want you guys to guess who
it was. Think big.
TROY
John Madden.
DAVONNA
Rick Ross.
TARRIN
The Pallbearer.
KAYLA
Charles Barkley.
RAYDELL
No-no-no. Don't think physically
big, think A-List celebrity big.
DAVONNA
Dwayne Johnson.
TROY
Spike Lee.
KAYLA
Whoopi Goldberg.
TARRIN
Wolverine.
RAYDELL
Wait, hold on, everybody just
stop. All of you guys are way off.
Come on, you know this person, or
you should know her if you call
yourselves Americans.
DAVONNA
So it's a female?
RAYDELL
Good morning Brownwood! I'm glad
someone's paying attention. But
let me give you another hint--
KAYLA
Raydell, the kids have a ton of
homework and I have to go work
out, so please just tell us.
TROY
Yeah, just tell us, Dad.
RAYDELL
Alright, keep your shirts and
skirts on, I'll tell you. Anybody
ever heard of Farina Williams?
EVERYBODY'S MOUTH DROPS.
KAYLA
(excited)
You mean the tennis player, Farina
Williams?
RAYDELL
That's exactly who I mean.
DAVONNA
No way.
TROY
Is she okay? Was she injured?
RAYDELL
She's fine, but my jugular's not
as stable as it once was.
KAYLA
What?
DAVONNA
I wonder what she's doing in
Brownwood?
RAYDELL
She said she was visiting some
friends.
DAVONNA
You actually talked to her?
RAYDELL
Yes, when she actually hit me, we
actually talked to one another.
Exchanged numbers and everything.
TROY
(blown away)
You have Farina William's phone
number? On you right now?
RAYDELL
Why don't you guys come see for
yourselves.
RAYDELL TAKES HIS CELL PHONE OUT AND SHOWS IT TO THE ENTIRE
FAMILY.
RAYDELL (CONT'D)
What does that look like?
TROY
Wow. I've seen her play on TV but
that's the first time I've ever
seen her actual phone number.
DAVONNA
Do you realize Farina Williams has
won three Wimbledon titles and was
the first African-American to win
the Australian Open championship?
RAYDELL
Wow, I wonder how much she's
worth.
DAVONNA
Wait a minute Daddy. I happen to
be a huge fan of Farina, so please
don't try to take advantage of
her.
RAYDELL
In case you haven't noticed, your
father's a dead man on wheels
here.
SFX: DOOR BELL
TROY
I'll get it.
TROY OPENS THE DOOR.
TROY (cont'd)
Hey Mr. Tang.
VITO
Hey Troy. Is your father home?
TROY
Yeah, come on in.
RAYDELL
Hey Vito.
VITO
Raydell. What happened to you?
TARRIN
Farina Williams hit him.
VITO
(defensive)
Why? What did you say to her?
KAYLA
With her car, Vito. It was an
accident.
VITO
You got Grand Slammed by Farina
Williams?
RAYDELL
Yep, and when a Bentley hits you,
you can bet your grand momma's
sweet buttered biscuits you're
gonna feel it.
(in pain)
Ahhh. I think my ribs are
dislocated.
INT. BRAVE'S GARAGE - MOMENTS LATER (DAY 1)
RAYDELL AND VITO SIT IN THE GARAGE.
RAYDELL
So why'd you want to come out here
in the garage?
VITO
Because your wife would probably
disagree with my plan.
RAYDELL
What plan?
VITO
Okay, everybody dreams of a moment
like this, but you are actually
living it. Getting rear-ended by
Farina Williams is the equivalent
of slipping and breaking your neck
in a high-end jewelry store. So
first you take her to the bank,
and then on the way back, you take
her to the cleaners. Get it, bank,
cleaners, is that clever or what?
RAYDELL
No, but I get where you're coming
from.
VITO
Well how about a little more
excitement. You don't seem to
realize the position you're in,
the power you now possess.
RAYDELL
I do.
VITO
So what's your plan?
RAYDELL
I'm not so sure I want a plan.
VITO
Are you kidding me? This is the
opportunity of a lifetime. Believe
me when I say Mrs. Williams does
not want to go to jail or ruin her
career over this, therefore she's
willing to do anything to keep you
happy as a freshly groomed
Teletuby. Ms. Williams is now your
celebrity puppet. Be ruthless, be
merciless, and you shall be
rewarded.
RAYDELL
I do have a lot of credit cards
with high interest rates I'd like
to get paid off.
VITO
We all do. How about your kids?
Are they set for college?
RAYDELL
No, but we're working on it.
VITO
That's the beauty of having major
injuries, you won't have to work
anymore. Your gravy train has
arrived, right in your driveway!
RAYDELL
I don't know.
VITO
Raydell, sometimes you have to
step on people's necks to get
respect.
RAYDELL
Maybe I should drop it and --
VITO
And what? Continue running off
colored copies for total
strangers? Faxing foreign
documents across the country?
Continue to wait on that big
acting gig that may never come?
RAYDELL
Okay, what do you suggest I do?
VITO
I suggest you call her. Call her
now and demand that she give you
something, something small to
start with just to see if she's
willing to play ball, but at the
same time letting her know you're
in control and won't roll over
like some kind of circus bear.
RAYDELL
Teletubies? Circus bears? What are
you, evolving backwards?
VITO
Never mind, just make the call.
RAYDELL
Alright alright, I'll do it.
RAYDELL MAKES THE CALL USING HIS CELL PHONE.
RAYDELL (cont'd)
(into phone)
Hello Farina?... Yes, it's
Raydell Brave, from the car
accident. How are you?...
VITO
(whispering to
Raydell)
Don't forget, you are the
puppeteer.
RAYDELL
(into phone)
...Good, good... Me?
(weak)
No I'm not feeling too well, not
well at all. I'm at home in bed as
we speak... Yeah, it's pretty
serious, my ankles are swollen and
I get wheezy whenever I urinate.
That was quite a horrific
accident... Well it was horrific
to me, I'm sure the tabloids and
the police would agree with me on
that... Why yes, as a matter of
fact there is something you may be
able to do for me...
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY (DAY 1)
RAYDELL ROLLS IN FROM THE GARAGE FOLLOWED BY VITO.
RAYDELL
Hey everybody. I just got off the
phone with my good friend Farina,
and guess what? She's buying us a
new flat screen TV!
KAYLA, TROY AND TARRIN CHEER. DAVONNA DOES NOT.
TARRIN
What size?
RAYDELL
Seventy-five inches.
TROY
Nice!
RAYDELL
And all I ask from you, my dear
family, is that you be patient and
allow two to three hours for
delivery.
EVERYBODY BUT DAVONNA CHEERS.
RAYDELL (cont'd)
I'll be in the garage if anybody
needs to hug or congratulate me.
INT. BRAVE'S GARAGE - MOMENTS LATER (DAY 1)
DAVONNA ENTERS.
DAVONNA
Daddy. Are you sure you're not
faking your injuries?
RAYDELL (O.S.)
(undecipherable)
Guaca bladursio mkellp.
DAVONNA
I can't understand what you're
saying with that oxygen mask on.
RAYDELL TAKES HIS OXYGEN MASK OFF.
RAYDELL
I said, does it look like I'm
faking? What makes you even ask me
a question like that?
DAVONNA
I can see your wheelchair marks
where you were doing donuts in
here.
RAYDELL
Those were happy donuts, Davonna.
Happy my injuries aren't more
serious than they are.
(fake groan)
Believe me, what I'm going through
right now is no vacation.
DAVONNA
Did you threaten to sue her to get
the TV?
RAYDELL
No. I simply made a strong
suggestion, and she concurred.
(Beat)
Why do you keep looking at me like
that? Is it a crime for me to want
to share my future wealth with my
family? The people that matter the
most to me?
DAVONNA
Okay. Just promise me, no more
gifts from her.
RAYDELL
That, I cannot promise, cupcake.
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY (DAY 2)
EVERYONE IS WORKING.
KAYLA
Where's your daddy?
TROY
I don't know.
DAVONNA
Me either. I haven't seen him all
morning.
TARRIN
I thought he was too crippled to
drive.
KAYLA
Yeah, that's what I thought.
THE FRONT DOOR OPENS. VITO ROLLS RAYDELL IN WEARING A NEW
SUIT, SCARF AND SUNGLASSES.
RAYDELL
(on top of the
world)
Good afternoon everyone. I'm home!
VITO
Hello everybody.
KAYLA
Where have you been? And where'd
you get that suit? That scarf?
TARRIN
And those sunglasses?
RAYDELL
Vito took me out to do a bit of
shopping.
KAYLA
(upset)
Shopping?
VITO
Yes, I've been driving him around
all morning and all I got was this
lousy hat.
KAYLA
How you gonna shop when we've got
cell phone bills and a car note
that's still--
RAYDELL
Got you those new shoes you've
been looking at.
RAYDELL HANDS KAYLA A BAG. SHE OPENS IT.
KAYLA
Oh my gosh. They're beautiful.
Thank you baby.
KAYLA GIVES RAYDELL A KISS.
RAYDELL
I do feel a little guilty for
coming back so late though. I had
no idea it would take so long
getting fitted for an Armani suit.
VITO
(jealous)
Picking out that new "Bolagari"
watch was no easy task either.
TROY
Farina Williams bought you a
Bolagari?!
RAYDELL
That's right. It's indeed a very
fine timepiece.
TROY MAKES HIS WAY TOWARDS RAYDELL.
TROY
Man that's lit. Farina really
knows how to treat her accident
victims.
RAYDELL
A very fine woman...
(to Kayla)
...on the inside. On the outside?
Blah.
TROY
I'm proud of you Dad. Life gave
you sour milk and you made yogurt.
KAYLA
The shoes are wonderful, but
something just doesn't feel right.
RAYDELL
You can exchange them for a bigger
size.
KAYLA
No. I mean, the way you're getting
these gifts, it's starting to feel
a little uncomfortable to me.
RAYDELL
I believe Ms. Williams has a lot
of guilt weighing on her soul, and
she's doing the best she can, the
best she knows how to lift that
guilt. I also believe this
accident happened to me for a
reason. Farina's a plain rich
superstar and I'm a handsome man
with a mediocre job. I don't plan
on working at Blinkos for the rest
of my life. And when this is all
said and done, maybe I won't have
to.
TROY
I wonder if a Bentley is asking
for too much.
INT. GARAGE - MOMENTS LATER - (DAY 2)
RAYDELL SITS IN HIS WHEELCHAIR ADMIRING HIS NEW STUFF.
VITO RUBS HIS HANDS TOGETHER IN EXCITEMENT.
VITO
Man, this garage is filling up
fast.
RAYDELL
Yeah. It's like I have my own
private Santa Clause.
VITO
So what do you think? You know,
what we talked about earlier?
RAYDELL
No Vito, I will not give you three
hundred thousand dollars to invest
in nude river boat cruises.
VITO
Fine, how about two hundred thou
and a matching Bolagari? We could
be like the Wonder Twins, only
with very expensive watches. Form
of a--
RAYDELL
No, and I don't appreciate you
trying to cash in on my pain and
suffering either.
VITO
In case you forgot, I'm the one
who talked you into making that
first call to Farina, remember? So
how can you eliminate me from this
equation?
RAYDELL
Okay Vito, you drive a hard
bargain. You can have that Bow
flex over there.
VITO
I don't want a Bow-flex.
RAYDELL
Okay, how about this bass guitar?
BAD BASS PLAYING RIFF
RAYDELL (cont'd)
They told me it used to belong to
Mick Jagger.
VITO
Raydell. You know I'm a harp-man.
RAYDELL
Now it sounds like you're just
being picky.
VITO
Suddenly I'm beginning to doubt
you've suffered any real pain at
all.
(angry)
As a matter of fact, I think
you're about as wounded as I am,
and I feel fantastic! Good bye,
Raydell!
VITO EXITS.
SFX: DOOR SLAMS
RAYDELL
(to himself)
What's his problem?
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - MORNING (DAY 3)
RAYDELL IS LOOKING OVER SOME OF HIS NEW TOYS.
KAYLA
What are you doing now?
RAYDELL
Just checking out my new stuff.
KAYLA
You got more stuff? How'd you even
get out the house? I thought Vito
was mad at you?
RAYDELL
Who needs him when everybody
delivers? Got you and the kids a
new laptop.
(yelling)
Hey kids, come in here! I got you
something!
KAYLA
Okay, now I'm getting a little
worried.
RAYDELL
Worried about what?
KAYLA
About everything, like your
friendship with Vito.
RAYDELL
First of all, I didn't kick Vito
out yesterday. He left, on his
own. I offered him some very nice
gifts, but apparently they weren't
shiny enough for him.
KAYLA
Well you've got a garage full of
new stuff and you're still
acquiring newer stuff. It's so
crowded in there I can hardly get
to my weights or work on my
candles.
KIDS ENTER.
TROY
What's up Dad?
RAYDELL
Got you all new laptops!
TROY
(excited)
What?!
TARRIN
(excited)
No way!
DAVONNA
Why are you still in that
wheelchair?
RAYDELL
Why wouldn't I be?
DAVONNA
(unconvinced)
So you're still claiming to be
crippled?
RAYDELL
Yes, but at the same time I feel
good. And if I could feel my legs
I would probably be dancing right
now.
KAYLA
You kids go on up to your rooms. I
need to talk to your father.
TARRIN
Okay. Thanks for the laptop, Dad!
TROY
Yeah thanks.
RAYDELL
You bet.
THE KIDS EXIT.
KAYLA
You know you can go to jail if you
get caught, right?
RAYDELL
Get caught doing what? Being
happy? Making my family happy?
KAYLA
Just stop, okay? Just stop. If you
go to jail, where does that leave
us? Me without a husband and our
kids without a father.
RAYDELL
I'm not going to jail, but I do
have to tell you something.
KAYLA
What?
RAYDELL
Farina is in love with me.
KAYLA
No, seriously, what did you have
to tell me?
RAYDELL
I'm serious. She's crazy about me.
KAYLA
I find that hard to believe.
Exactly what did she say?
RAYDELL
Well, she didn't verbally say she
was in love with me, but she's
saying it with gifts. I just hope
Shawna doesn't find out, or this
could get ugly real fast.
KAYLA
She's already ugly. And she better
stop calling over here. I can get
crazy too you know.
RAYDELL
Yes, I know.
KAYLA
What do you mean you know?
SFX: DOORBELL
KAYLA ANSWERS THE FRONT DOOR.
KAYLA (cont'd)
I'll get it.
KAYLA OPENS THE FRONT DOOR.
KAYLA (cont'd)
Hey Vito.
VITO
Hi Kayla, is Raydell here?
KAYLA
Yeah he's here. Come on in.
VITO ENTERS.
KAYLA (cont'd)
I'll be in the garage working out.
KAYLA EXITS.
RAYDELL
So Mr. Vito. Change your mind on
that Bow-Flex?
VITO
No. That's not why I came over.
RAYDELL
Well I'm still glad you did.
Because I owe you a big apology.
I'm going to by you that matching
Bolagari.
SFX: GYM WEIGHTS COMING FROM THE GARAGE.
VITO
I don't want it anymore. I don't
want anything except for you to
stop this whole extortion thing.
It's not right and I regret ever
anointing you as the Puppet
Master.
RAYDELL
I happen to like that title. I'm
getting pretty good at stepping on
necks too, look at all this stuff
I've acquired. Cigars, rare comic
books, even a Jerry Lewis box set.
VITO
Raydell, you are my friend, but I
gave you bad advice. I don't want
to see you go to jail.
RAYDELL
So what are you telling me? You
want one of my jet skis?
SFX: DOORBELL
DAVONNA ENTERS.
DAVONNA (O.S.)
I'll get it.
DAVONNA OPENS THE FRONT DOOR.
DAVONNA
Okay, I'll tell him.
SOON DAVONNA HEADS OVER TO RAYDELL.
DAVONNA (cont'd)
There's someone here to see you.
RAYDELL
(nervous whisper)
It's not the cops is it?
(panic)
Hide me. Help me hide all this
stuff!
DAVONNA
No. It's a Mrs. Bernard. Says
she's from Mrs. Williams' office.
RAYDELL
Oh. Oh yeah. Send her in.
VITO
I'll talk to you later, Raydell.
DAVONNA
And I'll be in my room working on
my music.
RAYDELL
Okay.
DAVONNA AND VITO LEAVE AS A PROFESSIONAL-LOOKING WOMAN
ENTERS WITH A BRIEFCASE IN EACH HAND. THIS IS TANCY
BERNARD.
TANCY
Hello Mr. Brave?
RAYDELL
(undecipherable)
Hoj gli vous.
TANCY
I'm sorry. I can't understand you
with that oxygen mask on.
RAYDELL REMOVES HIS OXYGEN MASK.
RAYDELL (CONT'D)
(weakly)
I'm sorry. Who are you?
TANCY
I'm Tancy Bernard. I'm here to
talk to you about the car accident
you and Mrs. Williams were
involved in. We had a two o'clock
appointment today, remember?
RAYDELL
Right. Glad you were able to come
over Mrs...
TANCY
Bernard. Tancy Bernard.
RAYDELL
Right. I'm sorry. My memory and
eye sight flees me from time to
time. The impact from that
horrific accident must have
affected my optic glands.
TANCY
(unsympathetic)
I just need to get some
information from you if you don't
mind.
RAYDELL
Of course. Why don't we go into
the dining room where we have more
light.
TANCY
Okay.
RAYDELL LEADS THE WAY INTO THE DINING ROOM.
INT. DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS (DAY 3)
RAYDELL PARKS HIS WHEELCHAIR NEXT TO THE TABLE.
RAYDELL
Please, have a seat Mrs. Bernard.
You can set your briefcases down
anywhere.
TANCY
Thank you. So you're an actor?
RAYDELL
(blushing)
Yes. Well not full-time, but...
Have you've seen me on screen?
I've done a waffle commercial and
a pet poop PSA.
TANCY
I'm afraid not.
RAYDELL
Well that was back in the
nineties. As you can see, I'm
pretty selective about the rolls I
take.
TANCY
So I see.
RAYDELL
But I'm pretty sure I'll be the
lead for the new Dark Thunder
movie. Already had a couple
auditions. Just waiting on that
final phone call.
TANCY
I hope that works out for you.
Now, shall we get down to
business?
RAYDELL
Yes, of course. I guess you're
going to need my bank name,
routing number...
(notices her
briefcase)
Oh never mind, I see you brought
cash.
TANCY
This briefcase contains video
equipment. Our company policy
requires us to record all claim
meetings. You don't mind, do you?
RAYDELL
Not at all. Actually I'm
flattered.
TANCY TAKES OUT A VIDEO CAMERA AND SETS IT UP ON A TRIPOD.
TANCY HITS THE RECORD BUTTON THEN SITS DOWN.
TANCY
Okay, we are now recording.
SFX: GYM WEIGHTS COMING FROM THE GARAGE.
TANCY (cont'd)
Do you hear that noise?
RAYDELL
That's just my wife working out in
the garage. She was a semi-pro
body builder before we moved here.
TANCY
Oh. Maybe I should meet her.
RAYDELL
No. Once she starts her routine,
she doesn't stop.
TANCY
Okay. So how are you feeling
today, Mr. Brave?
RAYDELL
(sick-mode)
Not so good. I get the shakes and
I sweat profusely just watching
car commercials. And my bowels go
ballistic whenever I hear a Gary
Numan song.
TANCY
I'm sorry to hear that.
RAYDELL
I'm living through a living hell
as we speak. I know it's hard to
tell, but that's only because I'd
rather smile than show the
excruciating physical and
psychological pain I'm feeling
within, something I endure
constantly day in and day out.
TANCY
I took a look at your car parked
in the driveway. I did notice some
damage, but it looks relatively
minor.
RAYDELL
Believe me, if dents could talk,
they would speak volumes to us.
But hey, we're not here to talk
about dents, we're here to talk
numbers, right?
TANCY
Do you have any medical bills or
receipts to verify your health
care expenses, Mr. Brave?
RAYDELL
I do... not.
TANCY
Mrs. Williams says you insisted
that she buy you things, things
like expensive suits, flashy
watches, even a cigar collection.
RAYDELL
Not sure where you're getting your
information from but--
TANCY
I'm looking at it right now. Along
with a room-full of other unopened
merchandise. What you're doing is
called extortion, Mr. Brave.
RAYDELL
Wait a minute now. I happen to
know that extortion is a crime in
Brownwood, and when it comes to
breaking laws of any kind, I
always turn the other cheek.
TANCY
Mr. Brave, I really need--
RAYDELL
I really need to take my pain
injection shot in a few minutes,
so can we just jump to the
financial part?
TANCY
Okay.
RAYDELL
I'm only be asking for six mill.
TANCY
You want us to give you six
million dollars?
RAYDELL
Yes. I believe six million dollars
is a fair amount for my pain,
suffering and lack of lost wages.
TANCY
Okay Mr. Brave. We don't like long
drawn-out court cases, nor the
negative publicity that comes with
it. This other briefcase is for
you.
TANCY HANDS RAYDELL THE BRIEFCASE.
RAYDELL
(happy)
Well thank you Ms. Bernard. I'm so
glad we could come to an
understanding.
TANCY
Just push those two latches
inwards.
RAYDELL
Okay. Like this?
RAYDELL OPENS THE BRIEFCASE.
RAYDELL (CONT'D)
Ahh!! Ahh!
RAYDELL JUMPS OUT THE WHEELCHAIR AND ON TO THE TABLE.
RAYDELL
What is that thing?!
TANCY
Wow, looks like you're cured.
RAYDELL (CONT'D)
(breathing hard)
Okay, I know what you're thinking,
how can a man in such pain and
trauma jump up on a table with the
agility of a high school teenager?
Well let me tell you, when you see
a hungry Komoto dragon sizing you
up, your reflexes take over,
superseding your physical and
mental abilities, A.K.A. survival
mode. In survival mode you're able
to do amazing things, things you
wouldn't believe.
TANCY
You're right, and anyone watching
this video wouldn't believe it
either, Mr. Brave. This is what we
call, our rubber iguana in the
briefcase trick.
RAYDELL
Rubber?
TANCY
Yes. We're proud to say it has a
ninety-five percent success rate.
We call him Chiro. (Chiropractor)
TANCY PUTS THE IGUANA BACK INTO HER BRIEFCASE.
RAYDELL
(desperate)
Okay three million. I'll settle
for three.
TANCY
I'm giving you a check Mr. Brave.
RAYDELL
I'm fine with that.
TANCY HANDS THE CHECK TO RAYDELL THEN PACKS UP HER THINGS.
RAYDELL (CONT'D)
Yes! I am now the three million
dollar man--
(reading the
check)
Wait. Fifty dollars?
TANCY
This ends our meeting Mr. Brave.
I advise you to take the offer. If
you refuse, Mrs. William's lawyers
will get involved, and believe me,
when they get through with you,
you'll wish extortion was never
invented. Good day Mr. Brave. I'll
see myself out.
RAYDELL LOOKS CONFUSED AND DISAPPOINTED AS TANCY EXITS.
RAYDELL
Can I cash this today?
INT. GARAGE - LATER - (DAY 2)
RAYDELL IS BUSY TRYING TO PUT HIS GIFTS BACK INTO THEIR
ORIGINAL PACKAGES. DAVONNA ENTERS.
DAVONNA
Hey Dad. What are you doing out of
your wheelchair? Where's your neck
brace and your oxygen mask?
RAYDELL
That so-called lady that came by
earlier was from Mrs. Williams'
office. She was a professional
chiropractor in disguise. Healed
me real quick.
DAVONNA
That's great. So I see you're
packing up all you stuff.
RAYDELL
Yep. Promised your mamma I'd take
everything back to the stores.
DAVONNA
I'll give you a hand.
RAYDELL
Thanks. You know I should have
listened to you in the first
place. But I was too stupid, too
greedy and too stubborn. I had no
right doing what I did to Ms.
Williams. But my biggest regret is
setting a bad example for you and
your brothers.
DAVONNA HUGS HIM.
RAYDELL (cont'd)
Why are you hugging me?
DAVONNA
Because you're my daddy and I love
you, and we need you.
RAYDELL
Trust me. I'll do better, cupcake.
DAVONNA
I know Daddy.
THE DOOR OPENS, IN WALKS KAYLA, TROY, TARRIN AND VITO.
RAYDELL
What are you guys doing here?
TROY
We all came to help.
TARRIN
Yeah. This is too much stuff for
one man to pack up.
VITO
Somebody hand me the shipping
tape.
RAYDELL
Thanks kids. Hey Vito. Man, I owe
you a huge apology.
VITO
Yes you do. And you an start with
a big fat burger and fries.
RAYDELL
You got it.
KAYLA
Enough talking. Let's get this
stuff packed up and shipped out.
FADE OUT.
END OF SHOW