Mom’s (Kayla's) earrings come up missing, she suspects her son’s new girlfriend.
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INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
CAST AND CREW ARE GETTING READY TO RECORD ANOTHER EPISODE.
Good morning good morning good
Good morning. 'Morning Felicia.
Good morning Mrs. De La Puente'.
Another beautiful Saturday
morning, huh? Right? Yeah?
Lynn. Chanetta, where are they?
Not here yet, but their on their
Not nearly good as actually being
here though, is it?
It's only nine forty-five, so they
still have fifteen minutes--
Yes, I know what time it is Greco.
I have a watch. Plus a clock on my
smart phone. And one in my car.
Plus there's on on that wall right
there, so yes, I do know what time
it is, Greco.
So you're sure I'm not in any of
these scenes at all?
Yes, I'm sure, and no, you are not
in this episode at all. So you can
go back to bed, or maybe you can
get me a late', huh? That would be
Extra skim milk, with organic
honey, Right Mrs. De La Puente?
Shut up T-Roy.
(to the family)
Alright everybody. While we're
waiting for those two lazy ladies
and my large late', are there
any... issues that we need to
The contracts. Are you all done
signing your contracts?
Yes. All the contracts are signed.
I hope you don't mind, but I typed
it up and printed them out. No
offense, but your handwriting was
kind of hard on the eyes.
No, it's okay. Thank you. I'll
take those now.
GRECO COLLECTS THE CONTRACTS.
I hope you don't mind, but I added
an extra line in there.
What kind of line?
Well, since I composed the theme
music, I was hoping I'd get a
Yes of course Day-Day. How much
cash do you have on you, Greco?
No, I mean more than a few--
Great! That should be the girls
I'll get it.
TARRIN GOES TO OPEN THE DOOR.
Yep! It's the girls!
Let 'em in Tarrin! Let 'em in.
EVERYBODY GETS INTO THEIR PLACES.
Alright Greco, light it up!
Home of the Braves. "Chips on the
SFX: CLAP BOARD
THEME MUSIC PLAYS
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING (NIGHT 1)
(KAYLA, LYNN, TROY, CHANETTA)
KAYLA AND LYNN ARE SITTING ON THE COUCH DRESSED UP IN CLUB
CLOTHES DRINKING WINE. THEY'RE WATCHING TV, LAUGHING THEIR
She is not a good looking woman.
All that money and still torn
down. Looks like a mix between a
scarecrow and an alien.
OBVIOUSLY TIPSY, THE TWO BURST OUT LAUGHING.
You know who she reminds me of,
remember that movie "Troll?"
Hell I thought that's what we were
THEY LAUGH EVEN HARDER.
Uh-oh look at this one. She needs
a sports bra because her fun bags
look like fart bags!
THEY LAUGH EVEN LOUDER.
And she calls herself a celebrity?
I think she means celibacy, and
not by choice I'm sure.
THEY ENJOY ANOTHER GOOD LAUGH.
Well, since we're not going
anywhere, might as well take these
ear rings off. Go ahead Lynn, kick
your shoes off. Get comfortable.
Might as well.
THEY KICK THEIR SHOES OFF THEN SIGH RELIEF.
Kayla, let me top you off.
LYNN REFILLS THEIR GLASSES.
(takes a sip)
Mmmm. Who says you have to pay
more than three bucks for the good
THEY TOUCH GLASSES AND TAKE ANOTHER SIP.
So how's the candle making
Slow as molasses. But I'm going to
make it work, just have to learn
how to target people better.
You'll learn. In the meantime,
maybe you should turn in that
security guard application.
I did. Just waiting to hear back
from somebody now.
Well good luck.
SFX: PHONE RINGS
Hold on. Let me get this.
KAYLA ANSWERS IT.
Hello... Who's this?... I know
your breathing, Galacia! Now stop
playing on the phone!... No, he's
not here!... I don't care who you
work for. Lose this number before
I come over there and gnaw your
ugly ear off--! Hello?
KAYLA HANGS UP.
What's wrong with that woman? How
can she still be in love with Ray
after all these years?
She's got some mental issues for
sure. How she got a job with the
FBI, I'll never know.
So Ray's doesn't have any feelings
for her, does she?
No, no. I'm not even worried about
that. She annoys him almost as
much as she annoys me.
Yeah, but I don't think he would
ever gnaw her ear off.
THEY BOTH BURSTS OUT LAUGHING.
So you think Ray might get that
Yeah I sure hope so, this is his
What would you do if he got the
part? Started making all that
First thing I'd do is move out of
Why? What's wrong with this place?
Kind of small. And that damn
canyon back there can be scary
Scary how? You ever see anything?
Yeah. Eyes. Yellow, sometimes red.
Huge glowing eyes!
LYNN IS STARTLED.
What you do that for?
You have to admit, it was better
than what we're watching now.
TROY ENTERS THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR WITH HIS DATE.
Is everything alright? I thought I
just heard somebody yelling in
Yeah, everything if fine. We were
just playing around.
Hi Ms. Lynn.
So who's this? Your new
Oh, this is Chanetta. That's my
mom and her friend, Ms. Lynn.
(sniffs the air)
You sure smell pretty. What kind
of perfume is that?
I refuse to wear perfume or
deodorants of any kind. What
you're smelling is one hundred
Wow. How nice is that?
You two sure look nice. Where are
you guys going?
Yeah, we're not gonna make it.
When's Dad coming back?
Tomorrow. Your brother and sister
are spending the weekend with your
"Absence from those we love is
self from self - a deadly
Dave Chappell, right?
I'm impressed Troy. You're
Well you are a wonderful
inspiration. Be right back, going
to go grab my wallet.
TROY EXITS TO HIS ROOM.
So Chanetta, are you and Troy
Kind of. It's only been a couple
No wonder Troy's been brushing his
teeth every day, he's in love. I'm
sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
We're a little tipsy.
She's a little tipsy, I'm cute and
Alright ma. I'll be back later.
Where are you two going, if you
don't mind me asking?
To the open-air theater for a
night of live poetry.
I would say have fun, but...
It was nice meeting you, Mrs.
Brave. Ms. Lynn.
You too, Chanetta.
TROY AND CHANETTA EXIT.
They make a cute couple, don't you
Yeah, but open-air poetry?
KAYLA AND LYNN BURST OUT LAUGHING.
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - MORNING (DAY 1)
KAYLA ENTERS FROM THE KITCHEN WITH AN ICE PACK ON HER
FOREHEAD. SHE LOOKS LIKE A MORNING-MESS. SHE SITS ON THE
COUCH AND DROPS SOME ALKA-SELTZER INTO HER GLASS OF WATER.
Man it hurts to sing.
Why do you think I didn't join in.
KAYLA PULLS BACK THE BLANKET ON THE COUCH AND NOTICES LYNN
Lynn, what are you still doing
here? I thought you went home last
Yeah, so did I.
Wow, we must have really tied one
on last night.
Yeah, that cheap stuff really
sneaks up on you.
KAYLA BEGINS LOOKING AROUND ON THE COFFEE TABLE.
Wait a minute. Wait-wait-wait!
My earrings, they're missing.
Are you sure?
Yes, I took them off last night
and put them on the coffee table
when we were watching TV,
Kind of sort of but not really.
That last drink knocked me out
like a Pacquiao uppercut. The last
thing I remember is playing poker
with a peacock. Have you looked
under the couch?
Yeah, but let me check again.
KAYLA LOOKS UNDER THE COUCH.
No. They're gone, Lynn! Someone
stole them! And I think I know who
INT. LYNN'S LIVING ROOM - LATER THAT DAY (DAY 2)
KAYLA IS NERVOUSLY PACING BACK AND FORTH. LYNN WATCHES.
I can't believe Chanetta stole my
ear rings right from under our
Don't you think you're jumping to
No, just because she's blemish
free and smells good doesn't mean
she's not capable of thievery.
When would she have had the
opportunity? I mean, we never left
I'm pretty sure we both passed out
at least once while she was here.
That's very possible.
So what should I do? You think I
should say something to Troy about
I don't think so. Let's just wait,
maybe they'll show up in a day or
In a day or two she could have
pawned them and fled the country!
Kayla, take a deep breath and
relax. It's going to be okay.
Let's just stay calm and keep a
level head about all this. Let's
paint our toenails. Take our mind
off of this for a while
Good idea Lynn. You always know
what to do.
KAYLA THINKS SOME MORE, THEN...
But before we do that, I'd like to
confront her and get real ghetto
on her ass.
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING (NIGHT 2)
KAYLA ENTERS. TROY IS SPRAYING COLOGNE ON HIMSELF, GETTING
READY FOR ANOTHER DATE.
So what do you think about
Chanetta? She's nice, right? Check
Though my face may not reveal it,
my heart sings a joyful song, for
I am thoroughly overjoyed and
blissfully intoxicated by this
wonderful thing called love.
KAYLA STARES AT HIM FOR A MOMENT, BEWILDERED.
It's mine, my first attempt at
poetry. Chanetta's got me
interested in all kinds of things.
Things I've never even thought
about before; opera, coffee,
Okay that's real cute and dainty,
Troy, but I have to tell you
something about her.
What is it?
Well this is going to sting if
you're in love with her. You're
not in love with her are you?
Well, I'm seventeen and she gave
me my first kiss, so yes. I am in
Okay, what I'm trying to tell you,
is that Chanetta's a kleptomaniac.
Listen to me. Last night I set my
earrings on that very table and
now they're very gone. The only
people that were here were me,
you, Lynn, and that raccoon who
likes shiny things.
Ma. just because your earrings
came up missing doesn't mean
Chanetta stole them. Maybe they
fell off the coffee table and
rolled under the couch.
No, we've looked hi and low.
There's no clues anywhere. She's
definitely a professional.
I assure you she did not take your
earrings. She's a very respectable
person. She has a good job, even
has her own place.
She has her own place? How old is
I don't really want to say.
So you're going out with Chanetta
Yes. We're going to see a new
vanguard film in the Valley. And
please don't try to tail us.
Wait, I haven't run her background
INT. KAYLA'S CAR - MOVING - LATER (NIGHT 2)
KAYLA DRIVES, LYNN RIDES SHOTGUN.
So where we driving too? I thought
we were going to watch another
No, I've got a better idea.
What could be better than throwing
back a few and bad-mouthing
celebrities with a bowl of warm
popcorn in your lap?
Dinner. On me.
That is a better idea. So where we
So I can order anything on the
menu I want?
What's the occasion?
We're two beautiful women, we
don't need an occasion.
You're right, we are some
beautiful babes. Now let's see
what I'm in the mood for. Steak?
Duck? Maybe something Italian.
KAYLA PULLS THE CAR OVER AND PARKS.
Why we stoppin' here? This is a
There's where the raccoon lives.
Chanetta. Using the internet and
Facebook, I found quite a bit of
information on her. Found out
she's twenty-one and has her own
What? Her parents must have bought
if for her, right?
I don't know how she got the
house, but I do know she loves
nice ear rings, which I intend to
What are you talking about?
They're at the movies. I'm going
Are you crazy? It's not like she
took the Hope Diamond. We're
talking about some JC Penny
They were a gift from my grand
I don't care if they were a gift
from Grandmaster Flash, I'm not
going to jail over this Kayla.
Before you say no, check this out.
KAYLA GRABS A BAG FROM THE BACK SEAT.
It's my spy bag.
KAYLA BEGINS PULLING ITEMS OUT OF THE BAG.
I brought all kinds of undercover
stuff. Flashlights. Walkie
What'd you bring mittens for?
Couldn't find my leather gloves.
Maybe they're in your ransom bag.
Real funny. Look, I even brought
Those are not lock-picking tools,
it's a fingernail file and a Slim
Jim. And by the way, a real Slim
Jim is not made of beef.
Like you've broken into someone's
Look Kayla, I don't care what kind
of tools you have or how
sentimental those earrings are,
it's not worth it.
Okay June Cleaver, what if I gave
you a walkie talkie and a Big Mac?
Would you be willing to stay in
the car and radio me if you see
I don't care if you threw in a
large order of McNuggets and a
Shamrock shake, I'm not going to
be a part of this.
INT. KAYLA'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER (NIGHT 2)
LYNN SITS IN THE CAR EATING FAST FOOD.
I am such a pushover. Instead of
eating Lasagna in a nice clean
restaurant, I'm sittin' in a dark
car with a clown in my lap.
THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION GOES BACK AND FORTH OVER THE
Okay I'm in. Do you copy Delta,
Tango, Charlie, I'm in.
Copy that. Proceed with caution
Alpha, Bravo, Cheapskate.
AFTER A FEW SECONDS WE HEAR KAYLA AGAIN.
This chick's got a very nice
I copy nice house. Over.
Okay I'm in the kitchen. Wow, look
at all this, she has a ton of
coffee. Coffee everywhere.
LYNN IS TOO BUSY EATING TO CARE OR RESPOND.
KAYLA (V.O.) (cont'd)
Check this out, she eats Crunch
Berries. A vegetarian who eats
Crunch Berries, is that weird or
Copy that cheapskate. Crunch
Berries in the pantry.
Okay kitchen's clear, moving to
the living room.
LYNN IS LICKING HER FINGERS AND BELCHING.
KAYLA (V.O.) (cont'd)
My god. Her whole house smells
good, just like her.
That's right girl take your time,
take your ever-loving time.
You're not going to believe it.
You found your earrings?
No. She has the entire Benny Hill
collection on Blu-ray. Not just
the first season, but the whole
Grab it for me.
Maybe on the way out, it looks
LYNN CONTINUES EATING.
KAYLA (V.O.) (cont'd)
Okay I'm inside her bedroom. I see
a chess set. Probably thinks she's
too cute for checkers. And look, a
Rubik's Cube. Oh my God she solved
Don't jump to conclusions, some
people buy them that way.
I'm looking on her dresser and in
her drawers. Man, I don't see them
anywhere. I bet she put them in
WE HEAR A BUMP AND CRASH.
What was that?
I knocked something over.
Just hurry up will you, I gotta
Oh boy. Oh boy, this is not good.
She has a dog. A mean-looking dog
and I just woke him up.
WE CAN HEAR THE DOG GROWLING.
Get out of there, Kayla! Get out
Too late he sees me.
Easy boy, easy. No... No!...
THE DOG IS BARKING AND GROWLING LIKE CRAZY.
ALL OF A SUDDEN EVERYTHING GOES SILENT.
Oh no. Kayla?! Kayla?!
WE HEAR THE DOG CHEWING.
Oh no, he's eating her.
Delta, Tangelo, Charlie, I'm okay.
I repeat, I'm okay. Do you copy?
Yeah I copy, but you scared the
McNuggets out of me. What
The dog knocked me down, but he
just wanted my Slim Jim. He's
adorable. I'm rubbing his belly as
We don't have time for belly
rubbing. Let's go.
Wait a minute, what's this?
You found the earrings?
No, something much more
INT. KAYLA'S CAR - MOVING - LATER (NIGHT 2)
LYNN'S NERVOUSLY DRIVING HOME FROM THE CRIME SCENE. KAYLA
Alright, slow down before we get
Yeah, you're right.
Okay, so if you didn't find your
ear rings, what did you find?
A bunch of weird photos. Photos of
her and her old boyfriends.
What's so weird about that?
They're all tattooed midgets.
So what do you have against
Nothing, I think they're
wonderful, but she seems to have
some kind of fetish. You should
have seen some of their poses.
There's one where this guy's
sitting on her lap like she's a
ventriloquist or something. In a
different photo with a different
guy, she's tossing him up and
catching him like he's a baby.
Very disturbing don't you think?
A little strange but I wouldn't
call it disturbing. Everybody has
their own little private thing.
Take me for instance, I like to
get a big bowl of pickled eggs and
a glass of Chardonnay, dress up
like a nurse and watch old
episodes of Martin. Does that make
me a freak?
You really don't know the answer?
Did you at least get the Benny
No. We're not thieves Lynn, just
two hot women looking for justice.
Wrong. We're going back tomorrow
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - MORNING (DAY 3)
(KAYLA, TROY, CHANETTA)
KAYLA ENTERS. SHE'S HALF AWAKE AS SHE MAKES HER WAY TO THE
BATHROOM. SHE OPENS THE DOOR. A FEMALE SCREAMS. KAYLA
SHUTS THE DOOR IN A HURRY.
Troy you really need to beef up
your testosterone intake, and cut
way-way-way down on that poetry.
TROY ENTERS FROM HIS BEDROOM.
Hey, what's going on?
Who's in our bathroom?
Why is Chanetta in our bathroom?
Someone broke into her apartment
last night. She was afraid to stay
there so I told her she could
spend the night here. You were
already asleep and I didn't want
to wake you.
Okay Troy, we've gotta talk about
your little girlfriend, but it's
not about the earrings. What I
found goes much deeper than that.
What do you mean, what you found?
...Ahhh, on the internet.
Mom, if she's not a werewolf or a
goblin, I'm not concerned.
Listen, I discovered that Chanetta
CHANETTA ENTERS FROM THE BATHROOM WEARING TROY'S T-SHIRT.
Hey, look who's here.
Hey, sorry I barged in on you like
No, I'm sorry, I should have
locked the door. Troy said it
would be okay if I stayed the
night. It is okay isn't it?
Well you've already done it now,
so yeah, it's okay.
So how you doing this morning?
Good, but I'll be even better
after I've had some coffee.
Sorry. I'm afraid we're out. Troy
told me someone broke into your
house last night. You don't have
any clues to who did it do you?
No, no clues.
What's good about that?
I mean it's good she wasn't home.
You could have been hurt in the
You're right. Thank God we were at
the movies when it happened. And
they didn't even steal anything.
My dog must have scared them away.
That adorable little pooch?
I said that's deplorable if I
can't find you a little hooch,
it's a new brand of coffee from
Belgium. Very robust. I'll go see
if I can find some.
Thank you Mrs. Brave.
KAYLA HUSTLES INTO THE KITCHEN.
INT. BRAVE'S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS (DAY 3)
KAYLA PICKS UP THE PHONE AND MAKES A PHONE CALL.
Lynn, it's me. Wake up. Wake up
wake up wake up...
WHILE TALKING ON THE PHONE, KAYLA IS OPENING AND SHUTTING
CABINET DOORS FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
Hey, I need your help...I know
it's the weekend, but Chanetta's
over here and I think I'm going to
need an alibi for last night...
Because I keep putting my
manicured foot in my big mouth...
KAYLA CONTINUES OPENING AND SHUTTING CABINET DOORS.
Yes, that's me pretending to look
for hooch... Never mind, just
please come over quickly....
Okay, yes-yes, I'll buy you a
McFlurry, now hurry up!
INT. BRAVE'S KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER (DAY 3)
(CHANETTA, KAYLA, TROY, TARRIN, RICHARD)
KAYLA, TROY AND CHANETTA ARE EATING CEREAL. CHANETTA SEEMS
A BIT UNEASY.
Nope, sorry, fresh out.
(a bit desperate)
Are you sure you don't have any
coffee? Maybe you could check
again real quick.
TROY CROSSES TO CHECK INSIDE THE CABINETS.
How about some tea? We have
Orange, Raspberry, Earl Grey--
No! God no!
Are you alright?
Yes. I'm sorry, tea just doesn't
do it for me.
NADINE AND TARRIN ENTER.
Hey Tarrin. "D." What are you two
doing back so early?
I just found out I have get up
early in the morning to go up
north and meet with my lawyer. I
didn't want to take the kids way
up there with me.
Hey Troy. Get over here and give
your grandmother a hug.
TROY GOES OVER AND GIVES HIS GRANDMOTHER A HUG.
And who's this?
This is my...
Just call me, Mrs. Nadine.
Hello Ms. Nadine.
And that's my little brother,
Tarrin, and my sister, Davonna.
Hi Tarrin. Hi Davonna.
(a bit surprised)
You want to join us for some
No thanks, we already ate.
Yeah, we had a real breakfast.
Pancakes, eggs, hash browns,
And boy are we stuffed.
Alright, both of you can go to
your room now.
DAVONNA AND TARRIN EXIT.
A cup of coffee sure would be nice
right about now.
CHANETTA'S FRUSTRATION IS BUILDING AND EVERYONE NOTICES.
Why don't I go check in the living
room just to make sure. Help me
In the living room?
Oh right. I think I remember
seeing the Colombian Roast under
KAYLA AND NADINE HEAD INTO THE LIVING ROOM.
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS (DAY 3)
KAYLA AND NADINE WHISPER THEIR ENTIRE CONVERSATION.
Okay, I know I've made some bad
decisions in the last twenty-four
hours so please don't condemn me,
I thought we were looking for
Never mind that. Remember the
earrings my grand aunt gave me
years ago? Well now they're
Please no, not the sapphire chips!
Shhh, this is serious. I think
Chanetta stole them, that's why I
broke into her house last night,
so I could try and find them.
You did what?! How could you do
something like that? You've got to
tell her the truth.
Are you crazy?
If you confess now, maybe you'll
get lucky and she won't press
charges, but if she finds out on
her own, I don't think your
chances are so good.
Come on Mam, I need a solution not
an old fashioned soul cleansing.
You came to me for advice. That's
the best I've got.
Don't worry, it'll be okay. I
won't let you go through this
INT. BRAVE'S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS (DAY 3)
(KAYLA, NADINE, TROY, CHANETTA, LYNN)
KAYLA AND NADINE ENTER FROM THE LIVING ROOM.
Okay, I have something to say--
Sorry I can't stay for the blood
bath. Gotta run.
NADINE QUICKLY EXITS OUT THE FRONT DOOR.
Did he just say blood bath?
I think she said rug rash.
I really appreciate you guys
letting me stay the night, and the
wonderful breakfast, but I really
have to leave too.
(anxious to Troy)
Let's go Sugar Loaf. I need to
make a stop.
Okay, I guess we'll see you later,
Wait, I have something I really
need to say.
Whatever it is, please say it
fast. I really need to go.
CHANETTA BEGINS TO FIDGET.
Okay, I'll come right out and say
it. I know what you did Chanetta,
so if you confess now I won't
Press charges for what?
I know it's embarrassing but
denying it just makes it worse.
Admit you took my earrings the
other night and we'll go from
CHANETTA IS BECOMING MORE AND MORE UNCOMFORTABLE.
She's joking right?
Is that why you're fidgeting like
a nervous criminal?
I don't believe this.
I'm sorry Chanetta. Please excuse
my mother, she was bitten by a
mosquito last night and she's
suffering from a mild case of
If you choose not to cooperate, I
will then proceed with a thorough
cross examination which consists
of a series of harsh questions you
might consider rude and
CHANETTA IS FIDGETING MORE AND MORE.
Do you have anything you want to
say before we get started?
CHANETTA'S UNCONTROLLABLE FIDGETING COMES TO A CLIMACTIC
EXPLOSION. SHE BEGINS YELLING RUDE GIBBERISH AND THROWING
THINGS IN EVERY DIRECTION. EVERYONE TAKES COVER.
Chanetta, what's wrong?!
LYNN ENTERS THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR UNSUSPECTINGLY WITH A
CUP OF COFFEE.
Sorry it took so long. Had to stop
and get coffee--
NOW LYNN SEES THE MAYHEM.
What the...?! Should I call a
priest or a sharp shooter?!
CHANETTA NOTICES THE COFFEE. SHE RUSHES OVER AND SNATCHES
IT OUT OF LYNN'S HAND.
Hey, she took my coffee!
CHANETTA CHUGS THE COFFEE DOWN COMPLETELY. EVERYONE IS IN
What just happened?
I don't know, but I'm about to get
real ghetto on her ass if I don't
get my four-fifty for that latte'.
CHANETTA, EXHAUSTED, MORPHS BACK TO HER OLD SWEET SELF
AGAIN. NOW SHE NOTICES THE MESS SHE'S MADE AS EVERYONE
COMES OUT OF HIDING.
Oh no. Not again. Is anybody hurt?
No we're okay. I'm just curious,
do all bombshells go off like
Who is this and why are you making
light of all this?
Chanetta's my... friend, who I
think can explain way better than
I ever could.
I'm sorry. I was hoping you would
never have to see that. I have
this weird health condition, I
have to have coffee. When I'm
deprived of it for too long I say
stupid stuff and do crazy things.
So that's why you have all that
coffee in your cabinets?
How do you know how much coffee I
Yeah, how do you know how much
coffee she has?
KAYLA REALIZES SHE'S BUSTED.
Okay, I'll confess. I was the one
who broke into your place last
Please don't call the police. I
have a good excuse, plus I have on
dirty underwear. Yes I broke into
your house, but with good
intentions, intentions on finding
my beloved earrings. You on the
other hand were invited into our
home and then proceeded to take
advantage of two beautiful drunken
Troy, I'm sorry but she's a crazy
Mommy, look what I found.
EVERYONE TURNS TO SEE TARRIN STANDING THERE HOLDING KAYLA'S
EARRINGS. KAYLA TURNS RED.
My ear rings.
Okay. Looks like this case is
So your son had your earrings all
KAYLA TAKES THE EARRINGS FROM TARRIN.
I've been looking all over for
I was just playing with them.
Why did you take mommy's earrings?
I didn't take them, I found them
in the trash can.
In the trash can? Why would they
be in the trash?
Uh-oh. It appears that bargain
booze does have a few side
Am I in trouble?
No honey. It was my fault, not
TARRIN EXITS TO HIS ROOM. KAYLA TURNS AROUND EMBARRASSED.
I don't believe this. You accused
her of stealing. You broke her
My dog used to be an energetic
vegan, now all he wants to do is
eat meat and sleep.
I am so very sorry Chanetta. I owe
you a big huge enormous apology.
What I did was wrong and
absolutely illegal. Lynn, that's
my best friend over there, and
who's coffee you chugged, tried to
I did. Oh, and don't worry about
Maybe drinking is not so
entertaining after all.
Right. Right, it's not.
I don't know how I could ever make
this up to you, but I do have a
Starbucks gift card I'm willing to
KAYLA SMILES, BUT OF COURSE CHANETTA LOOKS VERY UPSET AND
Kay, don't insult her. A smile and
a lousy Starbucks gift card is not
going to fix all this--
How much is on the card?
CHANETTA LAUGHS. THEY ALL JOIN IN.
INT. BRAVE'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING (NIGHT 3)
(TROY, KAYLA, LYNN)
KAYLA, LYNN AND TROY ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION.
So for the record, none of them
were her ex-boyfriends, they're
her brothers. They just have an
unorthodox sibling relationship.
Doesn't matter, it's over anyway.
What do you mean it's over?
When I took Chanetta home, her
real ex-boyfriend called, he wants
So, fight for her.
Yeah, what happened to chivalry?
Chivalry is just an old medieval
word used in poems and romance
novels that get good men killed. I
had the privilege of talking to
this lunatic on the phone, and he
scared me pretty good, said he
would do things to me only an ex
or current-con could do. His use
of profanity, vulgarity and
graphic brutality were both
impressive and horrifying.
Yeah, Chanetta's not worth
fighting over, she's just another
pretty face, who happens to be
honest and forgiving, with a
Yeah, they're a dime a dozen.
AFTER THINKING ABOUT IT FOR A FEW SECONDS, TROY POPS TO HIS
FEET WITH THE HEART OF A LION GLEAMING FROM HIS EYES.
You're both right. I don't care
who this guy is or what he claims
he can physically do to me. I'm
not letting my girl go without a
TROY EXITS, SLAMMING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM.
Wow, I've never seen Troy like
Yeah, looks like chivalry is alive
TROY RETURNS MUCH HUMBLER THAN WHEN HE LEFT.
Who am I kidding. I'm a good man
who wants to live a long and
fruitful life with all of his
limbs attached and orifices
untouched. So what I don't have
tattoos or muscles, that doesn't
make me any less of a man. Now if
you don't mind, I'm going to my
room to play video games.
TROY EXITS TO HIS ROOM.
I'm so glad he didn't listen to
you with that chivalry mess.
THEY BOTH CHUCKLE.
END OF SHOW